Rants of an airline agent -

So, I don't know if it's because I have two full-time jobs, or if it's just because I have male PMS. But lately I've been very short with people. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my job as an airline agent, but sometimes people get on my bloody nerves. Allow me to let my frustration out.



Dear passenger,



-Yes, I understand that it's your first time flying, but do you need to ask me a question every 2 minutes?

-If the name of the city you're going to and your flight number is illuminated behind me in big BOLD letters and I'm sitting at gate 65, yes this is most likely your gate.

-If the gate is closed, people are not lined up, the sign says "ON TIME" and your flight is not to depart until another 50 minutes from now, no we're not boarding yet. And when I tell you that we haven't boarded, must you always follow up with the question, "Good! Do I have time to use the restroom?" I don't know! How long do you take to use the restroom?

-Must you hover around my gate?

-No, I don't know when the weather will clear up.

-No, steak and shrimp are not on the menu on this flight. Now, I understand that you were trying to be funny, but seriously, it's not the first time I've heard that joke...you funny clown, you!

-Yes, I can change your seat. No, it will not be in first class, it will be in the same class that you booked it in...the BUTT CRACK OF COACH!

-No, I can't guarentee that the gate for your flight next week will be at the same gate as it is today. Why? Because that flight is next week.

-I'm so sorry you missed your funeral/wedding/daughters 16th birthday party/your cousins anniversary party/speech. If you really cared to be there, you probably should have NOT traveled the day of the event.

-Yes, I was serious when I announced "FINAL BOARDING FOR THE FLIGHT TO LONG BEACH." I was serious 5 minutes ago when I saw you smoking your cigarette in the smoking room.

-I loved it when you said, "Well, this is Delta. Delta NEVER leaves ON TIME!!!!" Well, you know what? Today, we did.

-I know, I wish I could sit you in the bathroom too!! Unfortunately, I got in trouble the last time I did that. I guess it's true when people say, "One bad apple spoils the bunch."

-No, that's your seat number, not your gate number. I'm sorry you had a hard time finding gate 45F. Maybe you should have read the little note above the number saying, "seat".

-Yes, I would love to stop the assisiting of another passenger, who was in line before you, to help you (who cut 7 other passengers in line). You obviously are more important, sir.

-No, we don't start these planes with rubber bands. We simply say a prayer and hope it starts.

-Yes, you can speak to the highest person in charge, just let me get the CEO of Delta on the phone, he's ready to hear your complaint.

-Yes, because you missed your flight on your own account, I will have to charge you a $50 dollar reissue fee. No, I don't make the rules, and I certainly won't break them and lose my job because of your stupidity. You can argue all you want, but in the end, it's still your fault you stopped to get Burger King.

Okay...I think I'm done. Gosh that felt good. So the next time you're flying through an airport. Don't check your brain with your luggage. Use your head, be alert, and please...we're the ones that are trying to help you when you missed a flight, so don't take it out on agents. We're not the ones who flew your plane. Shit happens. Be proactive and ask yourself, "okay, think, what can I do now."

xoxo
-GLOBE_TREKKER